Ho-pe you’re all having a very Merry Red Christmas! This here’s just a goofy lil’ solo pod of me sharing one of my favorite ho-rrorday traditions. It’s a lil’ different, but-t ho-pefully you’ll find some joy in my festive foolishness... 😉 Have a very Scary XXX-mas! ❤
In this episode, JB and I chat about the Halloween Hootenanny, and some of our wacky adventures on the road right afterwards. :)
As a general rule, we like our monsters gruesome: decaying flesh, dagger claws, saucer eyes, scaly skin... the works! But as handsome as these features are, they lack a certain subtlety. Yes, a maggot-eaten zombie is a fright to behold, but you see that rotter comin' a mile away! And once you see one, it doesn't take much to outpace it. Werewolves? Vicious... and visible. You see one, you whack it with silver, and you have yourself a new fur coat. However, this month's monster certainly isn't much look at, but he gets the job done. He could be in the room with you at this very moment, reading this article from over your shoulder. Nobody will see him come, no one will see him go. He can hear every secret! He can rob, destroy, and kill! You're crazy to know who he is? Well, ladies and gentlemen, we would like to introduce you to... The Invisible Man.
Stories of the invisible have dominated folklore and fantastic fiction for centuries. In "Culhwch and Olwen" (a 12 century Welsh tale), a "Mantle of Invisibility" is described as one of King Arthur's most prized possessions. Philosopher Plato wrote of the "Ring of Gyges," an artifact which grants its owner the power of invisibility (a possibly inspiration the One Ring in Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" books). And that's only a small portion of what fiction has to offer on the subject; invisibility is a concept which has long eXXXcited the imagination of man. Ho-wever, it wasn't until "The Invisible Man" by H.G. Wells that the unseen became a true source of terror.
Originally serialized in Pearson's Weekly in 1897 and published as a novel in the same year, The Invisible Man is the tale of Griffin, a scientist who invents a way to change a body's refractive index to that of air, thus becoming invisible. Obsessive and dangerous, Griffin plans to use his ability to go on a "Reign of Terror". Along with Dr. Jekyll and Frankenstein, Griffin is one of the greatest mad scientists in fiction. His maniacal behavior and uncanny power have made him an enduring cultural icon. In 1933, his place in the pantheon of great monsters was further cemented in the Universal horror film, "The Invisible Man." Claude Rains portrayed the Invisible One with mellifluous menace and mordant humor, creating a fiend for all ages. Mark Hamill has cited the Rains Griffin as an inspiration for his iconic portrayal of The Joker.
After the 1933 film, invisible men (and women) became a proud staple of monster movies. Universal would go on to make five more "Invisible Man" films, each starring a new invisible person. In 1948, the Invisible Man would make an appearance(?) in "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein," played by future ho-rror legend and star of "The Invisible Man Returns," Vincent Price. With that brief appearance, The Invisible Man was acknowledged as a top-tier nightmare. Beyond Universal, invisible folks have also had major roles in "Hollow Man" (a sci-fi thriller starring Kevin Bacon), the "Hotel Transylvania" series, "Memoirs of an Invisible Man," and "The Invisible Man" (1958 TV series). In addition, The Invisible Man has appeared in a number of comics, including several by Marvel.
What separates The Invisible Man from the other major monsters (sans The Phantom of the Opera) is that he is undeniably, unsettlingly human. He possesses the fury, intellect, and malice of the most twisted murderer... but you never really know if he's there. In essence, he is a spectre of flesh; a phantom of the material world. He could rob, rape, maim, and murder, and you wouldn't even know it until it was too late. There is great potential for fear in that concept, yet most filmmakers seem to opt for action or comedy.
Fortunately, dear kreeps, Universal has resurrected The Invisible Man for another round of murder and mayhem in... get this... "The Invisible Man!" Unlike recent monster offerings from Universal, this film will play into the inherent ho-rror of the Invisible One. The film hits theaters at the end of the month, but you can get a taste of the madness below: check out this spooky-cool trailer!
We just LOOOOOOOOVE a love story! Call us "soft," but we have hearts, too! (We keep 'em in the freezer.) We mean, love is the ineXXXorable force that drives and propels most ho-rror stories! Without love, the Phantom of the Opera has no reason to stalk. the Mummy remains under wraps, and King Kong would never climb the Empire State Building. Love's created more movie monsters than black magic and mad science combined! It's the secret ingredient that turns a barbarous brute into a tragic figure. Monsters fall in love so very often, but they are destined to have their hearts broken in more ways than one. That makes for great macabre melodrama! And, if you ask us, that makes the average monster movie a love story! Like we said, we love a love story!
With Valentine's Day upon us, we figured we'd pay tribute to love with five of our favorite romantic horror/monster movies. Because we don't want to be too sour for the sweethearts, we've even included one in which the creature gets the girl! Snuggle up next your boil or ghoul fiend, gorge on some chocolate (preferably dark), and watch one of these mad love stories.
1. Beauty and the Beast (1946): Tale as old as time... and the skeleton of nearly every creature feature! You just can't talk about romantic monster stories without at least mentioning the fabulously fantastic French fable. Jean Cocteau's seminal retelling is pure cinematic bless, rich with indelible imagery and eerie elegance. It has influenced everything from Disney's Haunted Mansion attraction to the 2004 version of Phantom of the Opera. My! What a guy, that Cocteau!
2. The Abominable Dr. Phibes - "Love Means Never Having to Say You're Ugly" was the tagline for this blacker-than-a-widow comedy that marries Phantom of the Opera (another Phantom reference! Take a swig!) with a uniquely British sense of humour to eXXXcellent effect. Vincent Price plays a disfigured organist who seeks to avenge the death of his beloved by picking off the surgical team behind her ill-fated operation. Love is what motivates the good doctor, and his comic campaign of carnage is just perfect for a viciously violent Valentine's!
3. Bram Stoker's Dracula: The Bela Lugosi Dracula may have been released on Valentine's Day, but no version of the venerable vampire tale is more appropriate for the holiday than Francis Ford Coppola's take from 1992. Dracula was given a Mummy-esque romance with the reincarnation of a long-lost love. Dazzling filmic techniques and operatic theatrics are what gave this adaptation the fresh blood it needed. Recommended for love-fools and blood-suckers alike.
4. The Fly (1986): The gooiest love story ever told! David Cronenberg's celebrated remake of the 1958 sci-fi favorite is a heartbreaking romance in which one of the lovers is quickly devolving into a hideous insect man. Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum's onscreen chemistry is absolutely superb, and it gives pathos to the magnificently morbid spectacle on display. Love is the deadliest pesticide of all.
5. The Shape of Water: Guillermo del Toro's Oscar-winning fairytale reimagines the Creature from the Black Lagoon as a storybook prince. Unlike just about every other creature feature, this drama actually ends rather happily. Doug Jones and Sally Hawkins are utterly bewitching as beauty and beast, Del Toro's direction is incredible, and it is as touching as a movie about a fish monster can be. And they called it "guppy love"...
6. The Phantom of the Opera (1925): There's a reason why we mentioned this in two of the previous entries: it's THE ho-rror love story. Phantom's one of the only classic terror tales that is as synonymous with romance as it is with fear. The Phantom himself is a darkly romantic figure who still captures the hearts of pop culture fans to this very day. As a special Valentine's gift to you crypt-kickers, we have the entire film here for your enjoyment! (It's better than candy hearts!)
Happy Valentine's Day, creeps!
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If you'd like to vote on what movies you'd like us to show on The Last Drive In, I've made 2 Ranker lists so Mr. JB can see what we REALLY want him to show neXXXt season! :)
Upcoming Appearances (Updated on the reg, so check back often! :)
Texxx-ass Theatre, Dall-ass
JB & Me, presenting a ho-rrorday cl-ass-sick <3
Texxx-ass Theatre, Dall-ass
Art Sanctuary, Louisville KY
Back on tour with Mr. JB and his "Redneck" show...First stop, Louisville!
Art Sanctuary, Louisville KY
Cinema Arts Centre Huntington, New York
Cinema Arts Centre Huntington, New York
Our first Con of the year...and it's in Veg-ass, baby!!! Come hang with us in the City o'Sin!
My Boss Man Interviews Robert Forster in this 1992 Drive In Theater interview.
Big thanks to the fine folks at MasiMedia who got this shindig together, and also to Mr. Roger Jackson (pictured intro-ing a screening of the film in Stu's backyard!! :) who not only came out to party with us, but-t also left me this terrifying vm that I will treasure for the neXXXt billion centuries!! :) xoxo
My Interview with Clint Freakin' Howard!!!
(nude Clint Howard and snow globes...need I say more?)
High History: Why I love Scream so much!
(remember to finish him)
Starring Diana Prince/Darcy the Mail Girl