Geek Talk Podc-ass-t

Precisely 30 years ago the universe was blessed with one of the most important television series ever created: Tales from the Crypt!!!  In this ep of Geek Talk, we attempt to pay tribute to one of mankind's greatest achievements.

Featured Articles o'the Month

Monsterpiece Theater: Popcorn

SPOILERS:

Ladies and gentlemen, your nerves are about to be subjected to the supreme terror of Popcorn! If you are averse to arson, the removal of human faces, vivid depictions of electrocution, or deaths caused by remote-controlled mosquitoes, we strongly urge you to leave this page immediately. If you have a heart condition, we suggest you consult a doctor before proceeding. Never have you known such Ho-rror; never have you seen such brutality; never have you witnessed such insanity as that which you are about to behold with your very eyes! Ladies and gentlemen, who's hungry for Popcorn?!  

Popcorn is a 1991 yelp-yarn directed by Porky's actor Mark Herrier and an uncredited Alan Ormsby. (Ormsby was replaced a few weeks into filming, though Ormsby did direct the films within the film.) The film is a valentine to the genre we love so dearly; a sanguinary salute to our favorite fiends. Picture Phantom of the Opera reworked as a slasher film set at a William Castle film festival, and you'll have something fairly close to Popcorn. Whether you're into teen screams or atomic abominations, Popcorn has the right fright for you.

The film concerns a group of kooky college kids who endeavor to raise money for their film club through '80s cleanup montages and an all-night Ho-rrorthon. Maggie (Jill Schoelen), a member of the club, has a recurring dream about a sinister figure pursuing a young woman named Sarah. At the Ho-rrorthon, strange things begin to occur, and the man of Maggie's dreams appears all too real. And amongst the manufactured monsters and staged horrors, true evil lurks about the theater. Man or phantom, Maggie's stalker is ready to steal the scene.

Despite the body count, there's something oddly pleasant about this movie: it's almost a cheery celebration of ghoul gatherings. The scenes of the Ho-rrorthon are accurate to the actual experience of a revival marathon, and the films watched by the characters onscreen are a gas; they are affectionate spoofs of classic spookfare that draw from '50s/'60s creature features like the films of Jack Arnold and Toho's ground-level sci-fi. Whenever the killer is absent, it really feels like you're just having grand ol' time with your fellow mutants.

But there is indeed a killer, and they're not part of the ballyhoo. While the film clubbers employ shock gags to amuse their guests, the killer provides genuine carnage. Popcorn isn't eXXXactly drowning in blood, but the murder set pieces are a real Ho-ot. Using Castle-esque gimmicks as instruments of ASSassination, the enigmatic killer picks off the college students in delicious slasher fashion. Our favorite kill scene involves a giant mosquito that plays out like a Phantomchandelier crash; it's so nice, they use it twice!

While we have spoiled some aspects of the film (sorry), we will refrain from giving away the film's big surprise. Let's just say that the killer is one of the most underrated monsters in moviedom. He (or she... or it) brings the nuttiness up to 11 and elevates a cool movie to an eXXXceptional movie. Between the monster movies and the movie's monster, Popcorn proves itself worthy of its GORE-GEOUS poster!

Without any further a-BOO, we bring you the buttery lunacy of Popcorn!

Check it out below, Kinky Kreeps!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP9IM-FbHJ0&t=24s

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Godzilla: King of the Monsters - Movie Review

Be Warned, Dear Reader: This review will be filthy with spoilers. Beyond the safety of this paragraph, you will be bombarded with scene descriptions, spoiled surprises, and other information about Godzilla: King of the Monsters you may not want to read. Though we generally refrain from such material when we discuss new releases, we just can't help ourselves this time; we're far too exxxhilarated to practice restraint! If that didn't betray the nature of our opinion, we'll give you a brief summary of our thoughts for those of you who abhor spoilers: It's great and every Godzilla fan should see it at least twice!!!

Okay, now onto the review...

ABANDON ALL HO-PE, YE WHO ENTER HERE

It pleases us greatly to report that Godzilla: King of the Monsters is, through and through, a Godzilla movie. To Godzilla detractors/philistines/Morlocks, that will mean that this film will be an easy skip. And if you had any sort of attachment to the characters of 2014's Godzilla (I'm sure some of you did!), you may be disappointed. However, if you are among the pure-blooded few who know the lyrics to Mothra's Song by heart and proudly own at least one Miss Namikawa fashion doll, this is your movie. 

The plot is... there. And that's basically all that really needs to be said about it; indeed, that is all it needs to be. Were you enthralled by the plot intricacies of Destroy All Monsters? Did the humanist drama of Son of Godzilla move you to tears? Beyond the war-haunted nightmare of the first film, these films were primarily a showcase for two-fisted monster action! Sure, a well-constructed plot and a few compelling characters are always a boon, but that's not why most of us are here. 


King of the Monsters is a film of exquistie sights and frights; an issue of Where Monsters Dwell  illustrated with the tools of cinema. The miniscule mortals are mostly harmless, but they are merely our guides to the colossal creatures and painterly carnage. Let other films concern themselves with the affairs of men! This is a film in which a man parachutes straight into the mouth of Rodan; a film where Godzilla vigorously rips off one of Ghidorah's heads with his teeth... only for it to regenerate in no time at all! 

And almost every individual monster shot is a work of art: a hellish scene of 
Ghidorah atop a mountain with a solitary cross in the foreground, Rodan erupting from an active volcano, Godzilla blasting apart the heavens with his atomic breath, and so many more. It's the sort of imagery these beasts demand and we crave. My friends, this is the sort of film Forry Ackerman would've gone batty for. For beautifully photographed and brilliantly realized monsters, this is tops. 

While mostly forgettable as far as characters are concerned, the cast is aces. Sally Hawkins, Millie Bobby Brown, Charles Dance, Vera Farmiga, Kyle Chandler, Bradley Whitford, Ken Watanabe, and more lend their considerable talents to the film's human bowling pins. If you wanted to see the sensational Sally Hawkins in a substantial role in a monster film, watch The Shape of Water. King of the Monsters plays out like an Irwin Allen doused in paint; the characters are insipid, but there is a peculiar charm in seeing these notable thespians against the fantastical visuals.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters is unequivocally a film made by fans for the fans. Its true stars are made clear early on, and that is as it should be. Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah are all as glorious as you want them to be, and each titan is given a moment to roar. It is essentially a big-budget celebration of these magnificent monsters and their legacies. Cl-ass-ick musical themes are well-utilized, and vigilant viewers will no doubt spot some visual references to past movies. Once again, Godzilla is here to point out the folly of man.

Long live the King!!!!

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Monster of the Month: King Ghidorah - Three Faces of Fear

Chins up and heads high, monster mashers! Our Monster of the Month is a true triple threat; triple-headed, that is! The gargantuan Godzilla has fought and fustigated the most fearsome of foes, but few have given him pause like that three-headed, gold-blooded terror of earth and space known as... King Ghidorah! If Godzilla be the king of the monsters, Ghidorah be their devil. 

King Ghidorah is the baddest of the bad when it comes to city-stompers. Godzilla has had more than a few heel turns in his considerable career as a force of destruction, but King Ghidorah is almost always the one sporting the black hat. He is the Dormammu to Godzilla's Doctor Strange; the Moriarty to his Holmes. Even in a world of gods and monsters, the winged Ghidorah is the evil supreme; whenever Toho must bring their monsters together, King Ghidorah is usually the catalyst of their union.

Producer Tomoyuki Tanaka created King Ghidorah with inspiration drawn from Yamata no Orochi, the mythological tale of an eight-headed dragon. For pragmatic reasons, Tanaka and monster maker Eiji Tsuburaya lost five heads and went with the now-iconic three. Ghidorah was originally painted green, but Tsuburaya insisted on gold; his assistant reasoned that Venusian King Ghidorah, a creature from the "Gold Planet," ought to be gold. And from that combination of ideas, Godzilla's mightiest foe was birthed. 

Ghidorah's overall design has remained fairly consistent over the years; the same cannot be said about his origin. He's been an exxxtraterrestrial, a genetically engineered abomination from the future, and a godly guardian from ancient Japan. Ho-wever, when one is a flying hell-beast with three heads and the power to fire gravity beams from said heads, one doesn't need a compelling backstory to be compelling. Even without a Shakespearean tragedy behind him, King Ghidorah is a highlight of any film he appears in.  

Ever since his debut in 1964's Ghidorah, the Three-Headed Monster,  Ghidorah has menaced man and monster in about a dozen films, many video games, and a few TV shows. For the most part, Ghidorah has maintained his position as Toho's greatest threat, though he did make a brief face turn in the fantastically titled, Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack. 

King G just made his American film debut in Godzilla: King of the Monsters, so we want to celebrate the bestial brute with one of his film cl-ass-sicks. For your amusement and education, we present Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, one of the most batty time travel films ever made and a showcase of Ghidorah's destructive power. Check it out, fright fiends!

Behold! The Movie:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-usFeWJ94Ak

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Mothra (1961) - Movie Review

If you were to peruse any list of "great" films, it is high-ly unlikely that you would find Mothra among the entries. By conventional standards, it's more than a little goofy and undeniably daffy. Its tit-ularw monster is a fluffy claw machine prize whose loyalty to two singing doll-ladies knows no bounds. Some might be tempted to classify it as a so-bad-it's-good picture; it is indeed a ludicrous one, and most prestige pictures do not feature technicolor moth monsters. However, the thing about Mothra is that, for all of its unbridled lunacy, it works. It REALLY works. In fact, I would, without hesitation, call Mothra a great movie.

The beautiful thing about cinema is the great variety it possesses; film is allowed more than one ideal of greatness, so our essential movies are disparate by nature. Some films are remarkable because they speak great truths about the human experience, others are because they utilize filmic techniques to achieve pure splendour, and still others are magnificent because they tell a compelling story about a technicolor moth monster. If a film succeeds on the level it intended to, it is at least a good movie; if a film transcends that level and remains relevant decades after its initial release, it may be called a great movie. 

On paper, Mothra sounds like a standard King Kong knockoff: a scheming businessman travels to a mysterious island, kidnaps/exploits creatures from said island, and incurs the wrath of a mighty tit-an. The execution is where the strangeness lies; unlike previous kaiju flicks, Mothra unabashedly revels in the inherent absurdity of its premise, playing more like a dreamy fantasy than a fright fest.  The fact that the purloined attraction is not Mothra herself but two singing fairies is emblematic of the fantastical nature of this film. 

From appealingly broad characters to the totally-not-America country of Rolisica to its candy colors, Mothra is a film of its own world. The wonder and majesty of Mothra is emphasized to the point where the requisite city destruction is as delightful as a Disney number. More so than any of the Toho films preceding it, Mothra is an absolute fairytale and successfully inspires the awe one exxxpects from such a story. In its utter nuttery, there exxxists an ethereal beauty that may only be achieved in the movies. 

Both in larva state and regal moth form, Mothra is simply one of the most eye-poppingly spectacular creatures ever to roam the screen. Though one can probably tell how Eiji Tsuburaya's effects were done with just a few glances, they are still incredibly striking and enhance the otherworldliness of the picture. Yuji Koseki's score is pure brilliance, and that it gave us Mothra's Song is enough to qualify it as a masterpiece. 

Godzilla: King of the Monsters, the latest incarnation of the Godzilla franchise, stomps into theaters this week. And in this big-budget summer blockbuster, Mothra will soar for what may be her largest audience to date, all because of a quirky little film from 1961. Still relevant in 2019, Mothra truly is a great movie.

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Awesome Articles...Of Doom!!!

Mail Grrl Duties

ATTENTION MUTANTS:


Wanna send The Last Drive In some Snail Mail? The addy for that is: 


215 Thompson St. #113

New York, NY 10012


Here's where you can find Mr. Joe Bob (and sometimes me ;),  if'n that's a thing that interests ya! (Updated on the reg, so check back often!  :)

05/31-06/02 2019

Retro Invasion Weekend

All Weekend

DoubleTree Ho-tel, Westlake OH

+ Event Details

05/31-06/02 2019

Retro Invasion Weekend

Mr. Joe Bob will be hanging out and gettin' mingly all weekend long! :) 

All Weekend

DoubleTree Ho-tel, Westlake OH

06/14/2019

The Legend of Boggy Creek (4K Restoration) Premiere

Perot Theatre, TeXXXarkana, TXxx

+ Event Details

06/14/2019

The Legend of Boggy Creek (4K Restoration) Premiere

I'll be flying solo on this one, but-t there's no way The Last Drive In will be going unrepped at such an important event! If you're nearby, come celebrate the Fouke Monster's Second Cumming with me! ;) 

Perot Theatre, TeXXXarkana, TXxx

06/15-06/16

Sinister Creature Con

Scottish Rite Center, Sacramento CA

+ Event Details

06/15-06/16

Sinister Creature Con

Mr. Joe Bob's hanging out and partying all weekend! :) 

Scottish Rite Center, Sacramento CA

06/27/2019

Ho-w Rednecks Saved Ho-llywood

7pm

Alamo Drafthouse, Tempe AZ

+ Event Details

06/27/2019

Ho-w Rednecks Saved Ho-llywood

An Evening with Mr. Joe Bob Briggs

7pm

Alamo Drafthouse, Tempe AZ

06/29/2019

Ho-w Rednecks Saved Ho-llywood

Regent Square Theatre, Pittsburgh PA

+ Event Details

06/29/2019

Ho-w Rednecks Saved Ho-llywood

An Evening with Mr. Joe Bob Briggs

Regent Square Theatre, Pittsburgh PA

More Events

OG Kinky Kontent

My epic, extended, erotic (for those of us into 6 foot bunnies) shower death from the upcoming Bunnyman 3, Grindhouse edition.

Big thanks to the fine folks at  MasiMedia who got this shindig together, and also to Mr. Roger Jackson (pictured intro-ing a screening of the film in Stu's backyard!! :) who not only came out to party with us, but-t also left me this terrifying vm that I will treasure for the neXXXt billion centuries!! :) xoxo

The 2018 Dark Circus did NOT disappoint!!  It was going to be hard to live up to what I had told people about last year's, but I'm happy to report another five out of five, upside down crosses for this year's festivities.  Check out the video and see for yourself.  :)

My Interview with Clint Freakin' Howard!!!


(nude Clint Howard and snow globes...need I say more?)

High History:  Why I love Scream so much!

Karnal Kombat 

(remember to finish him)

This shit is legit.

ThanXXX so much for stopping by...Let's be Ho-rror Ho-mies!

Questions? Comments? Got A "Stump Joe Bob" for me? Hit me up, Mutants! ;) xoxo

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